It was a warm April night when I decided to go to the beach for some alone time. I always found the beach to be a comforting place. A place where all my troubles go away for a couple of hours. That could be because of the majesty of the Indian Ocean or the cheap liquor. Either way, I decided to stock up before going to the beach. I went to a cordoned off area where there was nobody to supervise me. After reaching my usual spot, I sat there, sipping whiskey and humming to myself whilst looking at waves crushing themselves on the shoreline. That was an apt metaphor for life. You go on living each day, and then suddenly, almost like a countdown ends, you are gone without leaving a mark. All those speeches you give to yourself about how you would seize the day or how you would stop your monotonic patterns and do something else for a change seem irrelevant when you face the same end that everyone on this planet faces. Rich or poor, good or bad, you will die one day. I didn’t know if that made me feel afraid or comfortable.
The stars looked beautiful that night. Like diamonds you could grab on to. You could stare at them for hours without losing a scintilla of wonder. After a while, I looked down at the endless ocean. It looked like the end of the earth here. For some reason I felt drawn to it. The more I tried to control myself from going into the ocean, the harder it was to avoid being seduced by it. It looked so peaceful, and that is all I wanted now. Peace.
I got up off of the sand and walked toward the waves. I closed my eyes as the water touched my feet. I spontaneously smiled. It was almost like going home after a long journey. I could just stand there for an hour, or a day. I figured it was time to return to my spot on the warm sand after some time had passed, but I didn’t want to leave this place. It was so….perfect.
I contemplated going further into the water for a couple of minutes and decided to go for it. Carpe Diem and all that. So I swam until I was about hundred meters from the beach. It felt comfortable, and yes, it felt peaceful. I remained there as I heard the sounds of the ocean and life didn’t seem to be a burden anymore. I realized I wanted nothing more than to be comfortable, to be satisfied. I didn’t care about money or fame or anything of that sort, so long as I could keep coming to this blissful utopia.
I was on my way back to the beach when suddenly, the moonlight seemed to disappear. I knew my number was up as soon as I saw what was behind me. It was a HUGE wave. I knew that I would die that minute. The wave hit me hard. I rapidly descended into the ocean. I tried to force my way through the water, but it was futile. The water was unrelenting and terrifying. I kept trying to force my way through. I was trying to scream, but what was the point? I was submerged. With every try I made to get out of the water, I only got more water into my body. I could no longer hold any air. My lungs felt like they weighed a ton. I was dying. Why so soon? I thought. I have so much to live for, I thought. I made a resolution to actually seize everyday if I got out alive by some miracle. My mind was going at a hundred miles an hour. All I wanted was to get some air into my lungs.
And then, it happened. I could see every little incident that ever provoked a reaction being played in front of my eyes. I looked on as I cried at everything I was about to lose. All the love, the anxiety, the companionship, the LIFE, but I knew in my heart that it was immaterial. I was going to a better place now. I just knew it. There is indeed something after life. As soon as I realized this, I stopped struggling. I stopped trying to get out. I stopped moving my limbs, because my time was up. I had taken my turn to live and played terribly and it was time to go now. I accepted it. I didn’t want a second chance. I just wanted what I’ve always wanted. I wanted to be in peace. I smiled gently as more water entered my body. I smiled gently as I let it all go.
The stars looked beautiful that night. Like diamonds you could grab on to. You could stare at them for hours without losing a scintilla of wonder. After a while, I looked down at the endless ocean. It looked like the end of the earth here. For some reason I felt drawn to it. The more I tried to control myself from going into the ocean, the harder it was to avoid being seduced by it. It looked so peaceful, and that is all I wanted now. Peace.
I got up off of the sand and walked toward the waves. I closed my eyes as the water touched my feet. I spontaneously smiled. It was almost like going home after a long journey. I could just stand there for an hour, or a day. I figured it was time to return to my spot on the warm sand after some time had passed, but I didn’t want to leave this place. It was so….perfect.
I contemplated going further into the water for a couple of minutes and decided to go for it. Carpe Diem and all that. So I swam until I was about hundred meters from the beach. It felt comfortable, and yes, it felt peaceful. I remained there as I heard the sounds of the ocean and life didn’t seem to be a burden anymore. I realized I wanted nothing more than to be comfortable, to be satisfied. I didn’t care about money or fame or anything of that sort, so long as I could keep coming to this blissful utopia.
I was on my way back to the beach when suddenly, the moonlight seemed to disappear. I knew my number was up as soon as I saw what was behind me. It was a HUGE wave. I knew that I would die that minute. The wave hit me hard. I rapidly descended into the ocean. I tried to force my way through the water, but it was futile. The water was unrelenting and terrifying. I kept trying to force my way through. I was trying to scream, but what was the point? I was submerged. With every try I made to get out of the water, I only got more water into my body. I could no longer hold any air. My lungs felt like they weighed a ton. I was dying. Why so soon? I thought. I have so much to live for, I thought. I made a resolution to actually seize everyday if I got out alive by some miracle. My mind was going at a hundred miles an hour. All I wanted was to get some air into my lungs.
And then, it happened. I could see every little incident that ever provoked a reaction being played in front of my eyes. I looked on as I cried at everything I was about to lose. All the love, the anxiety, the companionship, the LIFE, but I knew in my heart that it was immaterial. I was going to a better place now. I just knew it. There is indeed something after life. As soon as I realized this, I stopped struggling. I stopped trying to get out. I stopped moving my limbs, because my time was up. I had taken my turn to live and played terribly and it was time to go now. I accepted it. I didn’t want a second chance. I just wanted what I’ve always wanted. I wanted to be in peace. I smiled gently as more water entered my body. I smiled gently as I let it all go.
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